


Penny Serenade

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-05
Updated: 2008-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:34:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8699185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jensen & Jared separate after the death of their child.  There is always an extra miracle lying around.   Warnings: Mpreg, BABY’S DEATH: READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

  
Author's notes:

Warnings: Mpreg, BABY’S DEATH: READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Chapter 1 is PG-13  Chapter 2 will be NC-17

* * *

He stood looking at the Christmas tree. The damn blinking lights were supposed to make him feel better.  At 4 am, it seemed like a good idea to drag the stuff out of the attic.  It’s Christmas Eve and he’s drinking way too much.  He should eat something. Jared left some waffles in the fridge. Oh right, no syrup. Looks like another beer.

 

The doorbell rings and Jensen, beer in hand, answered it.  He opened the door to see Jared.  He always rings the bell instead of using his key. Technical it’s his house too.

 

Jensen turned on his heel and walked thru the house.  Jared closed the door and entered the living room.  Maybe it’s a good sign the tree is up.  He looked at the tree. The ornament isn’t there.

 

Jared turned as Jensen entered the living room with a fresh bottle of beer.

 

“You’ve put up the tree.”

 

“Yeah”, Jensen sits on the couch. “What do you want Jared?”

 

“How much have you had to drink?”

 

“None of your damn business. WHAT do you want?”

 

Jared sighed and put his hands in his pockets. “The ornament.”

 

Jensen knows where the ornament is. “I don’t know where it is.  Moving stuff around…. Didn’t you take it?”

 

“No. I forgot it. I want it now.”

 

“Then look for it.”

 

Jared feeling the threat of tears, “I miss him too.  I’m just trying to get through the next two days the best I can.”

 

Jensen sat his beer bottle on the end table and put his face in his hands. “I know.”

 

“Why didn’t you go to Dallas?” Jared said as he sits on the coffee table. “You can come with me tonight to my parents house.” Jensen didn’t look up. “I don’t like you being here alone.”

 

It’s better to be alone than to suffer through all the pity looks. 

 

Jensen walked to the door and opened it. “I have some things to do today. If I find the ornament, I’ll call you.”

 

Jared kissed Jensen on the forehead and walked out the door.

 ********** 

Supernatural had ended the previous season and they were splitting their time between Vancouver and L.A.  Jared was trying to get a film project off the ground and Jensen was sick.  He had been throwing up and his back was killing him.  He thought he had a stomach–back-flu-thing and finally went to the doctor.

 

Jared was in his office working on the script when Jensen got home. He turned off the laptop and was half way down the stairs when Jensen appeared on the bottom smiling from ear to ear.

 

“I’m pregnant.”

 

Jared stopped and stared.  Jensen was pregnant? Jensen was pregnant!!

 

He walked down the remaining steps.  

 

“You’re really pregnant?”

 

Jensen nodded. “One month.”

 

Jared dropped to his knees and pulled Jensen’s shirt up.  Running his hand over the flat stomach. “There is really a baby in there?”

 

“There is really a baby in there.”

 

They talked it over and decided to raise the baby in Texas.  Vancouver was too cold and L.A. was, well, L.A.  So they brought a ranch house outside of San Antonio and packed their bags.

 

Texas had a law that men bearing children had to meet with a social worker to confirm they knew what to expect with the birthing process and the care the child would require from the birthing parent.  Jensen and Jared lucked out when Harriette Griffin was assigned their social worker.

 

Ms. Griffin was a woman in her fifties with a serve bun and wire glasses.  She reminded Jensen of the type in 40’s movies that would help Irene Dunn and Cary Grant adopt a baby.  Both men liked her immediately, and she seemed to like them.

 

They had found out via an ultra sound they were having a son and chose the name Bradford.  If that didn’t scream Texas, then no name would. Their families were equally excited. 

 

Jensen’s pregnancy was non eventful until the end of the eighth month.  Jared was in the office putting the finishing touches on a finance proposal for his film.  Jensen had slept in and was making breakfast.  The doctor told him to lay off the coffee, but he limited himself to a half a cup.  He was eating at the kitchen table watching a rerun of Supernatural on one of the local stations.  Some of the things he did made him cringe, and if Jared ever caught him watching the show, he would say Bradford wanted to see when his Daddy and Papa fell in love.  

 

The contraction literally knocked the wind out of him.  It was too early for the baby.  The second contraction was so painful he was in tears.

 

Jared called their OB, Dr. Stevens, and she met them at the ER.  

 

Jensen was placed on a gurney and a baby monitor strapped to his stomach.  

 

No heartbeat.  

 

He started to shake.  “Why is there no heartbeat?!  What is wrong?!”  He looked at Jared who was pale with fear.  

 

The doctor was yelling something about an emergency C section- they need to take the baby now!  

 

Then everything went black.

 

His mouth was so dry.  He wasn’t sure if he was awake or still sleeping.  Jensen opened his eyes.  Jared was sitting next to him, holding his hand.  

 

“Where’s Bradford?” His voice was raspy.

 

Jared gave him a spoonful of ice chips.  

 

Something was wrong. 

 

Jared sat on the side of the bed.  His eyes were puffy and red from crying. He took Jensen’s hand. 

 

“Bradford was stillborn.”

 

Jensen jerked his hand out of Jared’s, staring at him in disbelief.

 

“Why would you say something like that? Where is he?”

 

Jared tried to put his arms around him.  Jensen pushed him back.

 

“I want to see my baby NOW!”  

 

This time Jared was able to put his arms around Jensen and pull him into a hug. “He’s gone.”

 

Jensen hugged him tight as they cried in their pain and grief.

 

Dr. Stevens came to see Jensen an hour later.  She explained that the umbilical cord had wrapped around the baby’s neck.  The contractions were brought on because the baby had died.  She was very sympatric. 

 

Jensen insisted on seeing Bradford.  He couldn’t wrap his head around losing his baby. Jared had Bradford brought to the room so Jensen could see him.  He sent the nurse away and placed the baby, wrapped in a blanket, in Jensen’s arms.

 

Bradford was so little and pale with a faint blue tint to his skin.  He had the pointy Padalecki nose and Jensen could feel his little bowlegs through the blanket.  Jensen kissed his forehead and pulled the blanket tighter.  Jared held them both as their tears fell on little Bradford. 

 

It felt so strange to come home without his baby.  Since Bradford was a stillborn, they had to bury him.  The house was filled with their families.  He expected that, but they were supposed to be welcoming Bradford, not saying good-bye.  

 

Jensen was sedated during the funeral.  He couldn’t bear the thought of his tiny son in a casket.  Jared was left to deal with friends and family alone.

 

Every time Jared tried to touch him, Jensen would shy away.  He remembered how Jared couldn’t keep his hands off him while he was pregnant. Jared would caress his stomach and talk to Bradford all the time. Their lovemaking had become more gentle and affectionate

 

Two weeks after the funeral, UPS delivered a package.

 

“You got a package.” Jensen said as he entered the kitchen where Jared was making lunch.

 

Jared looked at package and sat it aside. “I’ll open it later.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Something I ordered f…..for Bradford.”

 

Jensen opened the box.  Inside was a custom made ornament with a little boy with big green eyes, spiky hair and a pointed nose on one side of the round ornament with _Bradford’s 1st Christmas_ on the other side. 

 

It was their only fight since losing their baby, and it was a fight filled with anger and blame.  It only ended when Jared packed an overnight bag and left with the dogs.  Jensen put the ornament back in the box and threw the box on the top shelf of the spare bedroom’s closet.

  ****************

Jensen hated for Jared to come to the house.  It reminded him of how much he missed him.  And honestly, Jensen can’t blame him for leavening. 

 

The local station was showing the Christmas episode of Supernatural. All the episodes were like home movies; he can remember where he and Jared were in their lives.  Jared hadn’t broken up with Sandy yet, but they were starting a relationship, finally facing the fact they were in love with each other. To quote Eric Clapton: how could we know promises end.  

 

Well now he knew.  As the closing credits rolled, he turned off the TV and unplugged the tree.  Enough is enough.  He lost Bradford and now lost Jared.  This was Jared’s house too so he shouldn’t leave a mess.  

 

He looked through the kitchen drawers and found the sharpest knife.  Then he went to the master bathroom and started filling the tub with warm water.  The phone started ringing, soon the answer machine in the den picked up the call.  

 

Jensen was tired of hearing the pity in their voices.  He walked down the hall to stop the answering machine in den.  As he entered doorway the machine beeps.

 

“Hello this is Harriette Griffin.  I’m sorry to be calling on a holiday, but I have an emergency request….”

 

“Ms. Griffin. Hi.” Jensen doesn’t know why his picked up the phone.

 

“Oh. Hello Mr. Ackles.  I’m so glad to find you home.  The reason I’m calling is the police raided a crack house early this morning and they found a four-year-old girl.  Apparently the mother died from an overdose and the little girl stayed with the body.  I believe she is too vulnerable to go to a group home.  Since you and Mr. Padalecki said you would be interested in fostering a child, I was hoping you could help me.  She would only need to stay until December 26th.  By then I will have other arrangements.”

 

Jensen looked at the knife still in his hand.  “Yeah. She can stay here for a couple of nights.”

 

“Thank you so much Mr. Ackles.  I can be there in an hour.  Don’t worry I will bring extra clothes and things she may need.  I should also tell you, she hasn’t spoken since she was found.  We don’t even know her name.”

 

“I’ll see you in an hour.”

 

“Fine. Good-bye.”

 

Jensen’s hands were shaking.  What was he thinking? He couldn’t deal with a child when he couldn’t deal with himself. Maybe he should call Ms. Griffin back and say…..  

 

He took a shower and washed his hair for the first time in two weeks.  And he even cleaned his glasses.  The doorbell rings as he is straightening up the living room.

 

When he opened the door, Ms. Griffin led the little girl in.

 

“Dear, this is Mr. Ackles.  You will be staying here for a couple of nights.”

 

The little girl looked at him, and he can tell she was as nervous as he was.  She had skin the color of brown toffee, short black hair and dark brown eyes.  

 

Jensen kneeled down.  “Hi. You can call me Jensen.”

 

She stared at him unresponsive.

 

Ms. Griffin hands Jensen a bag down with the extra supplies for the little girl and her card, “If you need anything at all, please call me.”

 

“We’ll be fine." Jensen tried to smile.

 

“I’ll call you on the 26th and let you know when I’ll pick her up.  Once again, thank you so much for this.”  To the little girl, “bye dear.  I’ll see you in a couple of days.”

 

Jensen closed the door behind Ms. Griffin.  

 

Looking at the little girl.  “Take your coat off and stay awhile.” He chuckled at the lame joke.  She stared.

 

He took the coat off the little girl who looked like she weighed ten pounds.  

 

Now what? TV!

 

He took the little girl by the hand and led her into the living room.  She stopped at the tree.  Jensen wondered if she has ever seen one before.  He plugged the tree in and the lights started blinking.  

 

The little girl sat down in front of the tree looking at it like she is studying every minuet detail. Jensen sat beside her.  In the light of the tree, her skin reminded him of a penny. Not the new shiny ones but the ones that have been around awhile.  Penny.  The name suited her.

 

They sat watching the lights blink until Jensen heard Penny’s stomach growl.  He pulled her to her feet and led her into the kitchen.  After placing her on a chair at the table, he looked for something to feed her. It’s been a while since he went to the store, but he found a can of vegetable soup in the cabinet.  Next he looked in the refrigerator.  He found some cheese and the bread isn’t stale.  They will have soup and grill cheese sandwiches for dinner.

 

Jensen was aware Penny had not taken her eyes off him the whole time they’ve been in the kitchen.  He opened the can of soup and turned the stove on to medium.  They both jump at the sound of the doorbell.  He tells Penny he will be right back.

 

Jared was relived to see Jensen had cleaned up and changed clothes.  

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m on my way to my parents and wondered if you would like to come with me.”

 

“I have someone here.” Jensen motioned for Jared to come in.

 

Someone finally came down from Dallas, Jared thinks as he follows Jensen to the kitchen.  He stopped when he sees Penny sitting at the table.

 

“Who is this?” Jared looks puzzled at Jensen.

 

“Harriette Griffin called this afternoon and she needed an emergency foster home.” Jensen says while stirring the soup.  “We said during the interview that we would like to foster a child.”  Jared nodded remembering. “So she called and I said yes.  It’s only until the 26th.”

 

As Jared sits on the chair next to Penny, “Hi, I’m Jared.”

 

“She hasn’t spoken, so Ms. Griffin didn’t know her name.  I’ve nicknamed her Penny. It seems to suit her.”

 

“Yeah, it does.”  He smiled at Penny who doesn’t change expressions.

 

There is an uncomfortable silence. 

 

“You better get to your parents before they send out a search party.” Jensen said smiling at Jared.  The smile doesn’t go unnoticed.  It seemed years since he saw Jensen smile.

 

“Yeah, I should go.” He turns to Penny.  “It’s nice to meet you Penny.”

 

Jensen follows Jared to the door.

 

“Why did Ms. Griffin need an emergency foster home?”

 

“The police raided a crack house and found Penny with her dead mother.”

 

Jared stared at him in disbelief.  “Are you two going to be alright?”

 

“Yeah, we’ll be fine.  Don’t worry.”

 

Jared nodded and started to open the door when Jensen lands a hand on his arm.

 

“I’m sorry for the way I behaved earlier today.  It was uncalled for.”

 

Without thinking, Jared pulled Jensen into a hug to let him know all is forgiven, and he was surprised when Jensen hugged him back.  He missed Jensen, missed the way his body molds to his, the way he felt in his arms.  The hug reminded Jensen he missed Jared as deeply as he loved him.  It has been a long time since they have shown any affection toward each other.  

 

When they pull apart, they look at each other.  Underneath the grief, they still love each other.

 

Jared squeezed Jensen’s hand. “If you need anything or help, call me.  Any time.”

 

Jensen nodded. “Tell your family Merry Christmas for me. I better get back”, walking toward the kitchen.

 

Smiling, Jared let himself out.  It looked like he owes Ms. Griffin a huge debt of gratitude. 

 

Penny ate her dinner like she hadn’t eaten in days.  After Jensen cleaned up the kitchen, they found a Christmas movie on TV.   During a Santa Report, telling the viewer where Santa is headed, Jensen explained how much he enjoyed the reports when he was young.  Penny just looked at him.  

 

A few hours later, Penny was falling asleep, so Jensen took her into the spare bedroom.  There are no pajamas in the bag with extra clothes.  Jensen finds his red Puma shirt and the shirt swallowed her.  He picked her up and put her in the big bed. Since it’s her first night away from her mother, he decided she needed a nightlight.  

 

Jensen stood at the closed door.  He hadn’t been in the nursery since the funeral. His hand on the doorknob, he took a deep breath and opened the door.  The nursery looked the same, smelled the same.  People said he should pack up the toys and things. He couldn’t.  Before he dissolved into tears, Jensen picked up the lamp sitting on the table by the crib and left the room closing the door behind him.

 

Penny watched Jensen plug in the lamp by the bed.  Multi-color fish and turtles move around the room on the walls.  Jensen sat on the bed. “I’m in the next room. If you get scared or need anything, just call me.” He patted her on the arm and went to his room.

 

It’s been a long time since he went to bed because he was tired, not drunk or so depressed all he could do was cry.  He thought if Ms. Griffin had called ten minutes later, he would have already cut his wrists, and Jared would have found him on his way to dinner.  Being with Penny had brought him out of his own head for a while, and he felt his head was clearing.  He was drowning in his own grief, and worst he was pulling Jared down with him.

 

It was so soft, he’s not sure what he was hearing, so he got up and went out into the hall.  Penny was crying, letting the stress and pain of the last couple of days out. 

 

Jensen sat on the bed. He’s not sure what to do.  She had been non-responsive all evening and now the emotional dam broke. The crying was so painful. Yeah the woman was a drug-addled junkie, but she was Penny’s mother, and Penny missed her.  She was scared because she didn’t understand what happened to her. Jensen got an idea.

 

“Turn over”, as he helped her turn over on her stomach. Whenever he had a bad dream or didn’t feel good, his mother would rub his back. As Jensen slowly rubbed Penny’s back, he felt her breathing calm until she was asleep.  He pulled the covers up over her and went back to his own bed.

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes: This chapter is NC-17  


* * *

 

When Jensen woke up, he notice how rested he felt.  Then he noticed he didn’t have the headache that usually greeted him in the morning. 

 

Penny!

 

He found his glasses and went to the spare bedroom. Penny was sitting on the bed.

 

“Morning.” Jensen said as he sat on the bed. 

 

Penny looked at him without expression, but most of the tension and nervousness were gone, and Jensen felt himself relax. “Let’s go find something for breakfast.”

 

They had the waffles with only butter. Jensen made coffee and gave the last of the milk to Penny.  She still had not spoken and Jensen wondered if he should be worried.  She was four and, surely, she knew had to speak.

 

“After breakfast, we can watch the Christmas Parade.  And later we’ll go out for Christmas lunch and eat some turkey”, Jensen said smiling.  As they watched the parade Jensen talked about the floats and the balloon characters.  Penny looked at him as if she was listening to every word. She didn’t do that the previous night, so he took it as progress.

 

His parents called to check on him.  He told them about Penny staying with him.  The relief in their voices was thick enough to cut with a knife.  They both said he sound much better.

 

He had just hung up the phone when the doorbell rang.  Jared was standing at the door with two bags of food.  

 

“What are you doing here?” Jensen was surprised to see Jared. “Shouldn’t you be at your parents?”

 

“I want to spend the day with you and Penny. I’ve got a small turkey breast and groceries.”  Jared looked so hopeful that Jensen bit his tongue so he wouldn’t laugh.

 

Jensen took one of the bags.  “Me and Penny would like that.” 

 

Smiling, Jared followed him in.  He stopped in the living room and kneeled down to Penny.

 

“Hi Penny. Merry Christmas.” Penny looked at him. “I’ve brought everything we need for dinner and I have some DVDs for us to watch.  Unless, you want to watch football.” Jared smiled at her, and he could have sworn he saw something flicker in her eyes. “And I have games to play after we eat. I’m going to get dinner started and will be right back.”

 

Jensen had unpacked the groceries and was getting pans out when Jared walked into the kitchen.

 

“Penny seems to be better this morning.”

 

“Yeah.” Jensen nodded. “We both seem to be better this morning.”

 

They looked at each other, wanting to say so much, would say so much if they could find the words.

 

“Why don’t you get started and me and Penny will get cleaned up and dressed.” Jensen suggested.

 

Jensen showered and dressed in a blue button down shirt with jeans.  When he entered the living room, Jared and Penny were sitting in front of the TV with Jared explaining the finer points of football.

  

After Jensen got settled on the floor with Penny between them, they watched the DVDs. Penny seemed to like A Charlie Brown Christmas, although The Grinch seemed to disturbed her.  Whenever Jared laughed that throw- your- head -back laugh, Jensen would laugh, and then out of nowhere a giggle.  Both men stopped and looked at Penny. She was smiling-not a big smile, but a smile non-the less.  Jared and Jensen looked at each other amazed.  They watched ‘Home Alone” and waited for another giggle.

 

Soon dinner was ready and as Jared carved the turkey breast, Jensen had Penny help him set the table.  Whenever she ate something she liked, a smile would appear on her face, but cranberries did not set well.  Jared talked about past Christmases and the games he brought. Jensen was glad he and Penny didn’t have to eat in another uncomfortable silence.

 

Jared set up the Candyland game.  He must have had it since he was a boy; the box was in one piece, but a little beat up.  Jensen knew Jared liked to horde childhood things.  Jared played against Jensen and Penny.  They showed her how to throw the dice and Jensen helped her move the game piece around the board.  After losing four games out of four, Jared complained he was playing against Candyland sharks.

 

They took a pumpkin pie break, courtesy of Jared’s mom, before playing Sorry. Jared didn’t do much better at that game either.  Too much Guitar Hero was the excuse.

 

Penny was yawning and running out of stream.  Jared kissed her forehead. “Good night. Have sweet dreams.”

 

Jensen changed her into her Puma t-shirt and turned on the lamp by the bed.  “Good night.” Like Jared, he kissed her on the forehead. He closed the bedroom door halfway.

 

Jensen saw a light on in the master bedroom.  Jared must be getting something he needs for his new place.  He never really moved out.

 

Jared was sitting on the bed holding the ornament.  Jensen thought back to the previous morning.  He had intended to put the ornament on the tree, but when he took it out of the box and looked at it, he threw box and all on his dresser.  And now Jared found it.

 

Jensen walked into the bedroom, closed the door and sat on the bed beside him.  Jared looked up and tears were running down his face, looking like he did after the funeral. 

 

“I shouldn’t have said…” Jared took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have said it was you fault that Bradford died.”

 

Jensen wiped his thumb across Jared’s cheek. “Jared, I’ve said the same thing a hundred times a day to myself.  I should have known he was in trouble.  He was inside me and I should have known.”

 

“No”, Jared shook his head. “If you had known, you would have done something. Jensen, we both loved him and we did everything right.  I don’t know why he’s not here, but I know no one is to blame.”

 

Jensen took off his glasses and laid them on the bedside table. “I replay that day over and over in my head. Why didn’t I know?”

 

Jared took Jensen’s hand. “There are things I need to tell you about…...”

 

“Okay”, Jensen nodded.  “What do you need to tell me?”

 

Jared laid the ornament on the bedside table next to Jensen’s glasses. 

 

“They let me stay during the C section.  When Dr. Stevens pulled …..” A painful sob came from Jared. “When she pulled Bradford from your body, I willed him to whimper, cry, anything to let us know we got to him in time and he would be alright.  They tried to save him.” Jared wiped his eyes and reached for a Kleenex. “I thought the pain was going to kill me when they pronounced him dead.”

 

Jared blew his nose. “I was so excited when we found out he was a boy.  We would play Guitar Hero and watch Cowboys games together.” Jared stopped speaking and rubbed his hand over his heart.  “They let me hold him in the nursery.  He was so little. I felt like my whole world had been ripped to shreds. I told myself that we would help each other through this.  Jensen, you wouldn’t even let me touch you. You pulled away from me.  Why did you do that?”

 

Jensen pulled him into a hug as his own tears fell.  He remembered that awful day. How Jared held him, tried to comfort him, as he let himself drown in the guilt and grief.  He hugged Jared tighter. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I was so afraid you blamed me as much as I blamed myself.  When you touched me, I would remember how sweet and gentle you were when I was pregnant. How you would rub my stomach and talk to Bradford. I was afraid you couldn’t love me like you did before because I lost Bradford. Then you left….”

 

Jared pulled back and looked at Jensen. “I’ve never stopped loving you.  I left because I was so angry. I needed you. We needed each other.”  Jared paused. “I felt so alone, like you wouldn’t acknowledge that I lost my baby too.”

 

“I know how hard this has been for you.” Jensen nodded as he wiped his eyes.  “ I feel like I have been in a fog and just now finding my way out.  I will grieve for the rest of my life for Bradford, but I know I can’t live like this.” He put his hands on the sides of Jared’s face. “I love you so much.  We can still help each other through this.”

 

Jensen kissed Jared.  He felt Jared’s arms tighten around him as he kissed back. The kiss went from a way of trying to reconnect to long passionate kisses. Both poured the love as well as the pain into their kisses.

 

Jared gently pushed Jensen down on the bed. He put one leg between Jensen’s legs and felt Jensen tense.  

 

“I’m sorry, you’re not ready.” Jared started to sit up, but Jensen held him in place.

 

“It’s just the scar.” Jared looked puzzled. “The C section scar.  It’s ….ugly.”  Jensen hated to see the scar in the mirror; it reminded him of what he lost.

 

Jared unbuttoned Jensen’s shirt and pulled back the sides.  The scar was on Jensen’s lower stomach, hip to hip.  He ran his finger over the rough scar from where they took Bradford from Jensen.  When he looked up, Jensen’s eyes were closed as tears fell across his temples into his hair. He wiped Jensen’s eyes and rubbed his chest until he felt Jensen relax; then he kissed him. Jensen wrapped his fingers in Jared’s hair and opened his mouth for Jared’s tongue. When Jared put his leg between his again, Jensen wrapped his leg around it. 

 

As Jared kissed down Jensen’s chin to his neck, Jensen buried his face in Jared’s hair smelling the shampoo and Jared’s own scent.  He missed that smell so much. Missed the feel of Jared’s lips on his skin, his hands stoking down his chest to his nipple. 

 

Jared inhaled Jensen’s scent as he kissed his neck. He felt Jensen moan with his lips, felt his face against his hair.  Jensen’s skin felt so warm. As he moved his hand lower over Jensen’s stomach, he remembered as full it felt when Jensen was pregnant.  He still couldn’t believe how sexy he thought Jensen looked.  Jared pulled his leg free and straddled Jensen’s hips.  He kissed down his chest, pausing to lick the hard nipples, to the scar.

 

Jensen started to shake as Jared softly kissed across the scar; he held on to Jared’s hair with one hand and the bed sheet with the other.  He never felt so exposed and Jared wasn’t repulse by him.  Then he felt Jared undo his jeans and pull them down.  His hard cock lay against his stomach leaking pre-cum on his scar.

 

In spite of the scar, Jensen was still the most beautiful man he ever saw.  He moved between Jensen’s legs and ran his tongue up the hard cock, feeling the veins, to the head before he taking it in his mouth, slowly moving his head up and down.  He felt Jensen’s legs tighten against his ribs.

 

Jared’s mouth felt almost too warm around his cock.  His hips started to thrust, but Jared held his hips still.  He came quickly and with a sob.  It was only then he realized he had been softly crying the whole time.

 

Jensen sat up as Jared pulled off his cock.  He pulled Jared’s t-shirt up and over his head.  Jensen kissed Jared’s chest between his nipples as he undid his pants.  Jared moaned when Jensen wrapped his hand around his cock and started stoking, running his thumb across the cock head.  Jensen sucked on a nipple-what was it about Jared’s nipples that he could cum from just sucking on them. He moved his hand down to cup Jared’s balls, gently squeezing them and chuckling at Jared’s moan.

 

Jared pulled Jensen’s head up to make him look at him.  “I want to be inside you.”

 

Jensen nodded yes.  Jared smiled and leaned over to the bedside table to the lube.

 

“A condom too.”

 

Jared looked at Jensen surprised.  They hadn’t used condoms for years.

 

“I don’t want to risk get…..” Jensen looked at Jared hopeful he would understand.

 

He did understand and he wasn’t ready yet either. Jared nodded and laid the lube and condom on the bed.  As Jared poured lube on his fingers, Jensen pulled off his shirt and lay down.  Jared kissed him as his fingers found Jensen’s hole and one gently pushed in.  Jensen clinched around his finger and then relaxed.  A second finger joined the first and Jared moved his fingers to spread the lube and stretched the hole.  

 

When Jensen was panting, he removed his fingers, rolled on the condom and spread lube on his cock.  Jensen’s legs wrapped around his waist as he pushed in.  It had been so long, when Jared was fully inside Jensen, he had to stop to calm his breathing.  Jensen was so tight and warm around him. He started to thrust as they kissed.

 

Jensen could feel every inch of Jared’s hard cock inside him.  His hips met Jared’s thrusts, and when Jared changed angles to hit his prostate, Jensen panted and moaned against Jared’s neck.  He ran his hands down Jared’s back to his ass and caressed a finger across the tight hole.

 

Jared reached between them to caress Jensen’s cock.  He thrust deeper as he felt Jensen’s legs tighten around him signaling Jensen was about to cum.  His cum covered hand, gripped Jensen’s leg and pulled up, opening Jensen more, as Jared’s own orgasm hit.  He buried his face in Jensen’s neck as he thrust through the pleasure.

 

He pulled out of Jensen and went to the bathroom to throw away the condom. Then he brought a warm, wet was cloth to clean Jensen.  Once back in bed, Jensen laid his head on Jared’s chest and wrapped a leg around his.

 

“Come home.”

 

Jared kissed him on the top of the head.

 

The next morning Jensen woke up alone.  The bathroom was empty. He got dressed in his pajamas and walked out into the hall. Jared’s voice was coming from the kitchen.

 

Jared and Penny turned and smiled as he entered the kitchen.  

 

“Morning. What are you two doing?”

 

“We’re making pancakes.” Jared beamed at him. “I went to the store and got everything we need and Penny is helping me.”

 

Penny was stirring the eggs and milk together as Jared showed her.

 

The phone rang and Jensen answered it.

 

“Hello. Oh, good morning Ms. Griffin.”

 

Jared stopped what he was doing and looked at Jensen.

 

“We’re fine. Jared and Penny are making pancakes.” Pause listening. “Penny seemed a good nick name for her.  Ms. Griffin, I was wondering, since everything is going well, maybe Penny could stay longer?”

 

Jared smiled.

 

“Yes, I understand there is some paperwork and a process.” Pause listening. Jensen started smiling ear to ear. “Yes, Jared and I will come down and sign some papers. We know this may be temporary until Penny’s relatives are found.  We’ll see you at two o’clock. Ms. Griffin, thank you so much for what you’ve done.”

 

Jensen hung up the phone and leaned down next to Penny. “You get to stay with us longer.” 

 

Penny turned to him and smiled.  Her whole face lit up.  

 

“Do I have time for a quick shower before the pancakes?”

 

“Yeah, but hurry up, we have a busy day ahead of us.”  Jared’s smile was as big as Penny’s.

   
Harriette Griffin smiled as she hung up the phone. When she read in the paper that Jensen and Jared had lost their baby, her heart broke for them. She could see how much they were looking forward to being parents. As Harriette started filling out temporary custody forms, she thought back two nights before when she walked into that dark, cold crack house and saw the terrified little girl. Once again her intuition hadn’t failed her.  
**************

1 Year Later

 

Jensen couldn’t believe the quiet.  Every Ackles and Padaleck had paraded through the house over the past two days.  Talking, laughter, children chasing dogs, everyone chasing children. It was amazing the neighbors didn’t call the police over the noise.

 

He stood looking at the Christmas tree remembering this time the previous year; he thought he had nothing to look forward to but heartache and what he thought about doing.  To use the old cliché, what a difference a year makes.  

 

The road to healing was a group effort.  Taking care of Penny kept Jensen and Jared from going too far into themselves.  When the days were bad, and there were many, they talked to each other.  Penny missed her mother and would ask about her.  And yes, Penny could talk, and could talk as much as Jared, which astonished Jensen because he never thought anyone could talk as much as Jared.  But around strangers, she was silent to the point of being non-responsive.

 

None of Penny’s relatives could be found, so she was their foster child until Ms. Griffin helped them adopt her.  On November 1st, the little girl officially became Penny Ackles-Padalecki.  

 

Jared’s movie got made and opened to excellent reviews. He was riding a wave of Oscar buzz.  Jensen was offered a couple of really good projects and he was scheduled to meet with producers after the first of the year.  It would be good to get back to work, but the scheduling may be tricky.

 

“Daddy! Pancakes are done.” Two voices called in unison from the kitchen.

 

“Okay.”  He hoped he would be able to get at least one down.  He was feeling a little nauseous and his back was killing him.

 

He looked at two ornaments next to each other on the tree.  One was a green-eyed boy with spiky hair and the other was a girl with dark hair and eyes.  Jensen rubbed his hand over his stomach and smiled.  Next year there would be a third ornament.

 

The End


End file.
